Movie Review: "Bridesmaids" (2011) ... Wedding Triggers

Bridesmaids (2011) - Kristen Wiig, Maya Rudolph, Rose Byrne, Jill Clayburgh




I know this pain
Why do lock yourself up in these chains?
No one can change your life except for you
Don't ever let anyone step all over you
Just open your heart and your mind
Is it really fair to feel this way inside ?


Annie Walker (Kristen Wiig) A thirty-something gal is startled and forced to take stock of her life when her childhood best friend Lilian (Maya Rudolph) announces her engagement. Suddenly the dead-end job, mountain of debt, dysfunctional relationship and a ticking biological clock which she had all managed on her best friend's shoulder, would no longer be available to her. She was moving on, while Annie's teetering life was in free fall.


Some day somebody's gonna make you want to
Turn around and say goodbye
Until then baby are you going to let them
Hold you down and make you cry
Don't you know?
Don't you know things can change
Things'll go your way
If you hold on for one more day


And if things weren't hectic enough in her life, she is handed the responsibility to be the Maid of Honor. Now she has to throw the bridal shower, the bachelorette party and arrange a ton of other stuff which she has never done and is clearly out of her depth. But she soldiers on, as a faithful friend, doing the best she can. Kristen Wiig balances the angst, apprehension and mixed-feelings with great thespian discipline.

Unfortunately, the stunningly beautiful, polished and disarmingly evil Helen (Rose Byrne), one of the bridesmaids is jealous of Annie's important role in the wedding and she makes sure that Annie falls on her face at every opportunity. Through a series of hilarious misadventures, Helen succeeds in getting rid of Annie as the Maid of Honor.


You could sustain
Or are you comfortable with the pain?
You've got no one to blame for your unhappiness
You got yourself into your own mess
Lettin' your worries pass you by
Don't you think it's worth your time
To change your mind ?


Annie gets fired from her job, gets thrown out of her apartment, her car breaks down and If things weren't bad enough, her best friend is now also mad at her. While she is having a "pity party" for herself at home, another of the bridesmaids, Megan (Meliissa McCarthy) comes-a-knocking as "life" and literally slaps (and bites!) Annie out of despair and self-pity. "You are your worst problem and you are the solution", Megan tells Annie. She has to break away the self-destructive bonds, the self-constructed fears of an uncertain future and realize the purpose of her life. Start respecting herself and carve a future of her own choosing, instead of waiting for life to happen to her. It's a great message, packed cleverly in humor instead of a sermon, which ordinarily one would have tuned out.


I know that there is pain
But you hold on for one more day and
Break free from the chains
Don't you know things can change
Things'll go your way
If you hold on for one more day yeah
If you hold on


When Wilson Phillips released this song ("Hold On") in 1990, I didn't have the proper context to fully appreciate the poignancy of the lyrics. But when the real band shows up at the end of the movie to sing this song, all the bits and pieces of the movie fall into place and make sense. You suddenly have 5-6 quickfire epiphanies. "Oh! so that's what.. yeah OK, and that too, cool".

In this respect this movie cannot, in good taste, be equated with director Paul Feig's prior cheesy and juvenile ventures. This is a well-acted movie. Just watch Kristen Wiig's eyes in the movie. There is a whole layer of story that plays out there. She plays the part of the vulnerable single gal so well, that I had to stop the movie several times in between, because you feel overwhelmed about her situation.

This is also a witty and intelligent movie that doesn't feel obligated to spell out each sexual innuendo. There are references to just about every sexual act in there, but you'll never hear it alluded to, directly. Always couched in metaphors and euphemisms. Only the really dull will have problems figuring them out. I confess I didn't get one. "I am not going to get his Monkey Lamps". Anybody know what that is ?. Make me humble... if you can.

This is a movie that can be watched over and over again and will not get old, because of the 'real life' script, direction (love how Kristen Wiig sneaks out of bed in the morning to put on her makeup and then slides back in, posing and acting all innocent and demure for her dickhead boyfriend) and superb acting all around, that makes otherwise cheesy scenarios, into memorable laugh-fests.

The cast, made up mostly of veteran Saturday Night Live members, have made a real movie this time around, instead of a series of sketches under Lorne Michaels.If you want to have a good time, go see Bridesmaids. Here are some scenes that I didn't find online.





{This movie and review were made possible by @kaifoom who in her 'infinite wisdom' recommended it.}



Kristen Wiig

Rose Byrne

Movie Review: "Unknown (2011)" ... Grandpa In Trouble!

Unknown (2011) - Liam Nesson, Diane Kruger (5/10)





In real life we are often limited to sitting back and taking it. Even the rich and powerful have to sit in gridlock traffic and wait in queues. We can't go around crashing cars through malls, breaking down locked doors and punching any guy in the face who irritates us. That's what Hollywood action stars are for. They provide us the vicarious thrills that otherwise elude the common man. If we do it, we would likely be sitting in a wheelchair, talking through a computer with the side of our face.

So it is a great disappointment when you go into an action movie ---expecting a take charge kinda guy who subverts the evil designs of the villain and reigns supreme--- to be met with a perpetually haggard, over-the-hill, pitiful, lumbering giant who asks his leading lady to do the heavy lifting for him, "Please! help me!" cries Liam Neeson to Diane Kruger. Every time he struggles to move across the screen, you fear he will either dislocate a joint or break his damn hip.

Liam Neeson is involved in a traffic accident abroad (Berlin) and has selective amnesia. He develops gaps in his memory. So when he tries to reconnect with his wife, she feigns any knowledge of him and presents a duplicate husband, who shares his name. That rightly upsets him and he goes about to establish his identity.

And that's where the movie takes a nose dive.

Instead of taking hold of the reins and manipulating events, this guy is a like a castaway on a raft, in the middle of the ocean. Events happen to him. People throw him around. Even young girls slap this grandpa, and he takes it all, lumbering from one disgrace to another. If there was one word to describe him here, it would be "Wimp".



The lovely Diane Kruger is the real hero(ine) of this movie. She saves his ass, time and again, or else our hero would either be at the bottom of a river, or an OD statistic in a parking lot. Wish they had given her the top billing. After all, she did do all the heavy lifting, literally.

There was another Unknown (2006) starring Greg Kinnear that has far better plot, suspense and twists than this unfortunate offering. This movie will just irritate Liam Neeson fans, who have watched his earlier stuff like Taken (2008) and The A-Team (2010), where despite his advanced years (60), he doesn't look it. Here, he looks like a befuddled, senile grandpa, trying to put moves on a girl who's half his age and... twice as fast.

Maybe they should re-release it with the title, "Catch Me If You Can".

Movie Review: "The Mechanic (2011)"... Poetic Mayhem

The Mechanic (2011) - Jason Statham, Ben Foster, Donald Sutherland (8/10)

This movie is a remake of the 1972 classic starring Charles Bronson. While the main theme remains the same, the plot and nature of operations has been updated to reflect the human condition and technology of our times.





Jason Statham is a hired assassin, a mechanic who fixes problems and makes them go away (generally bad people who 'deserve' it). Don't mistake him for a mindless trigger man. When he gets an "assignment", he first takes time out to study it. He is part scientist, part magician. A master strategist and a cold operator. And in the end as it turns out, very much human, much to the detriment of his boss.

He kills people for money, which is a grave sin. And like all sinners he has found a way to somewhat rationalize that aspect of his life. His code of ethics however, are not immune to personal pride and guilt, which make him vulnerable and put him in jeopardy.

I like this movie because it's a in-your-face, no-nonsense action flick. It does not feel obligated to make frequent detours into "touchy-feely" and "get-in-touch-with-your-emotions" bit to appease the PC liberal police, who I suspect would love to see Superman in a tutu, Batman doing Yoga (Oh shit! that's already been done, damnit) and Wolverine sprawled out on a therapist's couch, working out his "daddy issues".

One can make a case that gratuitous violence, as depicted in this movie, desensitizes the audience against real-world violence. Yes, it does. But there is a redeeming quality to this movie. Simon West (who has directed Con Air, Lara Croft and The General's Daughter) has directed this movie like it was a ballet performance. It is violent, but beautiful. The rich colors, controlled movements, perfect timing, synchronized feats of murderous acrobatics and human beings in fine mental and physical form is almost poetic. Far from being sense-less, it rings out all the six senses.

And speaking of senses, what would be violence without sex appeal ?. Coming to the rescue are Mini Anden, a leggy Swede supermodel and Christa Campbell, for the junior partner-in-crime. Their roles may be small, but their parts are substantive. However, there is hardly any character to develop here.



There is a brief topless scene and backside nudity. Nothing major. This was exactly what I came looking for, got it, and enjoyed it. This movie does not make any excuses for what it is. I am not about to, either.

Movie Review: "From Paris With Love"... No, Not Really.

From Paris With Love (2010) - John Travolta, Katia Smutniak 6/10

Hollywood has a very good track record for following the lead of the State Department when it comes to identifying bad guys to the world. During WW-II it was the Germans and Japanese. After the cold war they were all linked back to the Communist block. During the drug wars of Reagan and Bush, the bad guys were wearing South American faces. Initially, after 9/11 it was the Arabs who were holding Arnold's wife for ransom. Now, you frequently hear the word "Pakistanis" peppered in with Arabs.

So it was no surprise that Hollywood made a movie dedicated to the drug-running, bomb-making pimps and suicide bombers from Pakistan. Sadly, Pakistanis are not even given any character development. They are faceless, nameless, crazed villains who are massacred one after the other, in an assembly-line fashion. Like chickens at a poultry plant.

Enter, From Paris With Love.



John Travolta is playing the role of Raymond Davis. A special op soldier, who cleans the "trash". Kills at the drop of a hat. He has the license to kill, with the entire military might of the US behind him, including satellites orbiting in space that are mobilized into service with a click on his wristwatch.

An unfeeling, uncaring, arrogant murderer who flies in, kills dozens, and flies out. Just like our Raymond. As the voice on the phone says, he may be unorthodox, but "...he gets the job done".

France has the largest population of Muslims in Europe. Most of them are from Northern Africa. After 9/11 the right-wing racists in France have been trying their level best to paint Muslims in a corner. Piss them off, any way they can. In this movie, John Travolta is hunting Pakistanis from Karachi, in Paris. The Pakistanis are shown to be the masterminds behind every vice on the Parisian street. They are so cold-blooded and calculating that they press into service unfocused, young, beautiful, white, Parisian girls and compel them to don suicide jackets for their nefarious ends. Yeah, that's one thing Pakistani fobs are good at. Getting the babes. Right.

Pakistanis are getting help to run cocaine in Paris from their best friends, the Chinese. The Chinese oprerate from their chain of Egg Fu Yung restaurants where the mild-mannered Chinese waiters and chefs carry AK-47s. It doesn't matter that cocaine is strictly a South American drug and has no association with Asia, but since cocaine is the drug of choice for Americans, that's what the Pakistanis be smuggling from Pakistan. Why confuse yourself with facts when your purpose is to smear and malign.

The most egregious and odious aspect of this however, is the attempt to directly link Islam, the religion, with terrorism. In the Pakistani hideout in the red-light area, from where they run their prostitution business, cut drugs and assemble their bombs, the word "Allah" in large lettering in Arabic is painted all over the walls. In one instant, you associate every known vice in the west to the world of Islam, it's most sacred symbols and icons. This not-so-subtle, subliminal imagery is akin to placing crosses and icons of Christianity in the homes of Ted Bundy, Ted Kaczynski or Dr. Hannibal Lecter. This is playing dirty and if the shoe was on the other foot, the Christians would be howling their heads off --and for good reason.

Muslims ?. Oh we are sleeping. We can't be bothered. We have not prepared ourselves for this high-tech, take-no-prisoners, psy-op war. We don't even know what it means! how dangerous it is and how it will shape our future. We will just slurp this movie down and return to our blissfully ignorant slumber.

*YAWN*

The only good thing about this movie is Kasia Smutniak. The philandering suicide bomber.