The Halal Debate: From Neutral To Kosher In 3 Seconds

Can a Muslim entertain meat in the Christian world ?. I have read the fatwas of the renowned muftis on this topic and frankly, they are not very convincing. Their desperate efforts to raise doubts, conjuring-up vague associations and rigging together unsubstantiated suppositions, leads me to believe that good intentions, over time, have ballooned into needlessly burdensome rituals.

I will present my case for it. It certainly isn't the last word on the subject. Let us lay out the facts first. Most scholars cite these two verses from the Quran. I will cite the relevant ayats.

In the chronological order of their revelation:

Surah Al An'am[6:121]:
"And do not eat of that upon which the name of Allah has not been mentioned, for indeed, it is grave disobedience".

Surah Al Ma'idah [5:5]:

"This day [all] good foods have been made lawful, and the food of those who were given the Scripture is lawful for you and your food is lawful for them. And [lawful in marriage are] chaste women from among the believers and chaste women from among those who were given the Scripture before you".

Then we have the oft-quoted hadith narrated by Hazrat Ayesha(RZT):

Some people said, "O Allah's Apostle! meat is brought to us by some people and we are not sure whether the name of Allah has been mentioned on it or not (at the time of slaughtering the animals)." Allah's Apostle said (to them), "Mention the name of Allah [Bismillah] and eat it."
[Sahi Bukhari #1935.]

There are three basic variables in the halal argument. (1) What meat is it ? (2) Who prepared it ? (3) How was it prepared ? (4) If you are unsure, what to do ?.

The sort and condition of permissable meats are clearly enunciated in Surah Al Ma'idah [5:3]. Any meat which falls into the permissable category, prepared by draining the blood by Ahl-e-Kitaab (People of the Books) is lawful for Muslims and vice versa. Unless, during preparations the Ahl-e-Kitab (or Muslim) was sitting in the back, going "Satan! Satan!" on each chicken, goat or cattle he was carving. That would of course, make it non-kosher. But what if this guy was listening to his iPod and thinking of his date that night, while slaughtering these animals ?.

That, would make it neutral meat, or fill-in-the-blanks meat.

What do you do with that meat on your table ?. It is the right meat, handled the right way, by the right guy, only it has yet to be labeled. This is probably the most common predicament, when sitting down to eat meat in the west. That's where we apply the lesson from the hadith above. You say "Bismillah" and that neutral meat becomes kosher meat. Ready to eat.

Of course, this does not absolve you of taking all precautions and avoiding eating in places where you are sure that they are cooking porky-the-pig, right besides the hamburger you ordered. Just like you don't go back to the KFC where the big black chick was digging boogers out of her nose at the fryer. It's just common sense and hygiene. Minimize risk as much you can. To your body and your soul.

And if you are one of the faithfuls who just cannot bring him/herself to enjoy meats outside of their zabeeha-ordained homes, then more power to you. I am just too weak for that kind of monastic discipline and self-denial, when clear and simple instructions (OK, rationalizations) are available.

And let's not forget the other ayats from Surah Al An'am [6:118-6:119]:

"So eat of that [meat] upon which the name of Allah has been mentioned, if you are believers in His verses. And why should you not eat of that upon which the name of Allah has been mentioned while He has explained in detail to you what He has forbidden you, excepting that to which you are compelled. And indeed do many lead [others] astray through their [own] inclinations without knowledge. Indeed, your Lord - He is most knowing of the transgressors".

You are not making me one of the transgressors.

Movie Review: "Bridesmaids" (2011) ... Wedding Triggers

Bridesmaids (2011) - Kristen Wiig, Maya Rudolph, Rose Byrne, Jill Clayburgh




I know this pain
Why do lock yourself up in these chains?
No one can change your life except for you
Don't ever let anyone step all over you
Just open your heart and your mind
Is it really fair to feel this way inside ?


Annie Walker (Kristen Wiig) A thirty-something gal is startled and forced to take stock of her life when her childhood best friend Lilian (Maya Rudolph) announces her engagement. Suddenly the dead-end job, mountain of debt, dysfunctional relationship and a ticking biological clock which she had all managed on her best friend's shoulder, would no longer be available to her. She was moving on, while Annie's teetering life was in free fall.


Some day somebody's gonna make you want to
Turn around and say goodbye
Until then baby are you going to let them
Hold you down and make you cry
Don't you know?
Don't you know things can change
Things'll go your way
If you hold on for one more day


And if things weren't hectic enough in her life, she is handed the responsibility to be the Maid of Honor. Now she has to throw the bridal shower, the bachelorette party and arrange a ton of other stuff which she has never done and is clearly out of her depth. But she soldiers on, as a faithful friend, doing the best she can. Kristen Wiig balances the angst, apprehension and mixed-feelings with great thespian discipline.

Unfortunately, the stunningly beautiful, polished and disarmingly evil Helen (Rose Byrne), one of the bridesmaids is jealous of Annie's important role in the wedding and she makes sure that Annie falls on her face at every opportunity. Through a series of hilarious misadventures, Helen succeeds in getting rid of Annie as the Maid of Honor.


You could sustain
Or are you comfortable with the pain?
You've got no one to blame for your unhappiness
You got yourself into your own mess
Lettin' your worries pass you by
Don't you think it's worth your time
To change your mind ?


Annie gets fired from her job, gets thrown out of her apartment, her car breaks down and If things weren't bad enough, her best friend is now also mad at her. While she is having a "pity party" for herself at home, another of the bridesmaids, Megan (Meliissa McCarthy) comes-a-knocking as "life" and literally slaps (and bites!) Annie out of despair and self-pity. "You are your worst problem and you are the solution", Megan tells Annie. She has to break away the self-destructive bonds, the self-constructed fears of an uncertain future and realize the purpose of her life. Start respecting herself and carve a future of her own choosing, instead of waiting for life to happen to her. It's a great message, packed cleverly in humor instead of a sermon, which ordinarily one would have tuned out.


I know that there is pain
But you hold on for one more day and
Break free from the chains
Don't you know things can change
Things'll go your way
If you hold on for one more day yeah
If you hold on


When Wilson Phillips released this song ("Hold On") in 1990, I didn't have the proper context to fully appreciate the poignancy of the lyrics. But when the real band shows up at the end of the movie to sing this song, all the bits and pieces of the movie fall into place and make sense. You suddenly have 5-6 quickfire epiphanies. "Oh! so that's what.. yeah OK, and that too, cool".

In this respect this movie cannot, in good taste, be equated with director Paul Feig's prior cheesy and juvenile ventures. This is a well-acted movie. Just watch Kristen Wiig's eyes in the movie. There is a whole layer of story that plays out there. She plays the part of the vulnerable single gal so well, that I had to stop the movie several times in between, because you feel overwhelmed about her situation.

This is also a witty and intelligent movie that doesn't feel obligated to spell out each sexual innuendo. There are references to just about every sexual act in there, but you'll never hear it alluded to, directly. Always couched in metaphors and euphemisms. Only the really dull will have problems figuring them out. I confess I didn't get one. "I am not going to get his Monkey Lamps". Anybody know what that is ?. Make me humble... if you can.

This is a movie that can be watched over and over again and will not get old, because of the 'real life' script, direction (love how Kristen Wiig sneaks out of bed in the morning to put on her makeup and then slides back in, posing and acting all innocent and demure for her dickhead boyfriend) and superb acting all around, that makes otherwise cheesy scenarios, into memorable laugh-fests.

The cast, made up mostly of veteran Saturday Night Live members, have made a real movie this time around, instead of a series of sketches under Lorne Michaels.If you want to have a good time, go see Bridesmaids. Here are some scenes that I didn't find online.





{This movie and review were made possible by @kaifoom who in her 'infinite wisdom' recommended it.}



Kristen Wiig

Rose Byrne