What opened the memory flood-gates was a tweet by GuGu, who wrote about her terrifying experience in the dark.
When I was a child, during our summer vacations, we would sometimes get to visit our relatives in the interior. As one born and raised in the urban jungle, I relished the sharp contrasts. Open areas, close-knit community, people looking out for each other and lots of kids my age. But there was one thing that was a huge sticking point. The bathroom. More specifically, the commode. They had the desi variety, which we call 'khuddi'. Basically, a porcelain tub sunk into the ground which you have to squat-n-straddle, like a damn trapeze artist, while doing your business.
A real nightmare scenario, if your squatting powers last for less than 2 seconds a go. (FYI, after two seconds, this kid too fell back on his ass)
But that wasn't the half of it. Oh no. The much bigger threat were (let's call them) Amos & Andy. Two of the biggest, baddest flying cockroaches you've ever seen. Veterans of many wars. They would remain hidden under the curve of the porcelain, until you were doing your impression of an East European acrobat.
At first there would appear, only a single long, hairy, menacing tentacle. It would snake around for awhile, after which a head would sneak a peek. After making sure the prey was in a compromised position, would it wiggle out from underneath and start strutting around, with it's two ginormous hairy tentacles twitching about. Looking back on it, these things basically lived on crap. No wonder they behaved like a couple of crackheads.
Now if you could only spot Andy below, you knew you could expect a grand entrance from Amos any second. And sure enough, what do you see near the roshandaan, but Amos. Slithering silently for the kill. Without any prior notice, the wings would open-up from the sides and with a loud "PRRRrrr!" sound it would descend on you, buzzing and screeching, in ever widening circular arcs.
You usually had nothing to defend yourself with, other than a lota, which you knew you needed more. With one hand you are maintaining balance, the other for shoo'ing away Amos and with SONAR you are trying to confuse Andy, if not impel him to retreat. Sometimes Amos would buzz your head, or top of your ear. Sometimes you'd think you got him, when he would appear triumphantly from your top pocket and fly away.
Amos & Andy have acquired legendary status over the years. Younger cousins swear they are still there. Two of them. Same wash room. Same modus operandi.
The closest analogy I can give is... imagine being attacked by Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds from above. Steven Spielberg's Jaws from below, while you are carrying out Mission Impossible tasks of Tom Cruise.
Yeah, we had some childhood, man. These days... these punks... with their PS3 games and iPhones...you-know-what-I-mean. Hell, they got nothing on us.
